next x.mas...

you are all getting dream catchers, pine needle baskets, and crocheted table cloths.

cacao

today i have learned to make my own hot chocolate mix.
tomorrow i am going to grind up dried lavender and add it in.

voila!

lavender hot chocolate.

&.2

i have learned to pause.

there was something in what that girl said.
something i knew.

but before you actually know something, you first deny it.

it's a mechanism in humans...we must find out ourselves. we must prove all things right before proceeding.
and if we fail. we are victims.

but there are patterns.
really obvious patterns. some adopted from out side sources. some rubbed into our brains in lives less ordinary or maybe even less desirable.

so shouldn't we break these patterns?
aren't they ultimately hiding what is true in out natures?

the answer seems to be yes.
way more positive than no.

yes. you can change.


well, okay. you yourself won't change.
but how you react will.

i have learned to pause.
when i pause before reaction, i can see the world from four corners.
time stops, and i am aware of all that is going on. how the person before me expects me to react.
what a trap!
i learned to pause
and in so learned about the insatiable appetite humans have for manipulating each other. and i don't mean manipulating maliciously, most of them are not aware. but we manipulate each other to get our desired reactions.
to follow these patterns.

so i pause and do not react: passionately, irradicately, or aggresively.
i also do not react : sympathetic by lending pity, disgusted, or one sided.

but i can react empathetically.
i have learned to pause
which has taught me to put my reactions aside
see all situations from all corners
and lend myself honestly
instead of giving into pattern
which does not
lead to any form
of
enlightenment.

therefore i pause
and i am free.

spot on...

White dwarfs are small and extremely dense stars. They're typically no bigger than the Earth but as heavy as the sun. You currently have a resemblance to one of those concentrated balls of pure intensity. I have rarely seen you offering so much bang for the buck. You are as flavorful as chocolate mousse, as piercing as the scent of eucalyptus, as lustrous as a fireworks display on a moonless night. Personally, I'm quite attracted to your saucy and zesty emanations, and I think most people with strong egos will be. But some underachievers with lower self-esteem may regard you as being more like astringent medicine. My advice: Gravitate toward those who like you to be powerful.

dear you

painting and listening to godspeed

mermaid

erase erase

you may have noticed that i have deleted a majority of posts.

having a personal blog is a great tool. but i realize your standard diary works the same wonders.
it's the same as face book. it's doesn't feel like a appropriate outlet, especially for my age.

and just as my facebook page has become, so this page will become, centered on my artwork.

i am working on a large body of work right now, and am happy to say that i am content with the quality of my vision and feel comfortable that i may have found a consistent style of expression.

as i finish each piece i will be posting them here and transform this into a official art blog. my ultimate goal is to showcase this body of work in a gallery at some point when all pieces are finished.

for now, i am leaving up all the videos i have picked for beauty in content.

hearts&squishes